There comes a time in every man`s life when he has to give up, surrender if you will, to the power of the feminine. If he does not do this, then he remains immature, & unable to progress within his spiritual life. His self-awareness will suffer painfully, & he will remain a child. Mature people naturally stay away from such a man. For it is not only unbecoming to be in the company of such a man, it is also embarrassing. No decent man or woman would put themselves into such a position wittingly, so why would a person do it unwittingly ? Men are by nature insecure when it comes to expressing themselves intimately, not only in front of women, but also in front of other men.
For many years I had not been aware that I had repressed much of myself. I did not want to feel emotions, but mostly I did not want to feel vulnerable. It was incredibly important that I stayed protected, defensive, &, of course, alone, so that I did not have to surround myself with others. I wanted to stay alone, not only in my love life, but also my social life too, & whenever I became threatened by a woman approaching me, my arrogance would reign supreme, putting many people off. The only ones that would ever stay around me were those that felt pity for me, or were bemused by my strange behaviour. Why does a man do this ? Why is it that a man is so afraid of the power of the feminine ?
Perhaps I am somewhat qualified to answer this most important of questions, as I have experienced rather a lot of this self-harming attitude towards myself, so I shall try & attempt an answer. Although I am not sure how well I will do, as there are many far greater minds than mine that have tried, & failed to answer this question adequately. I personally think that this problem has it`s roots in a man`s relationship with his father. Before I hear you all start groaning- " Here we go again ", hear me out on this one.
First up, comes vulnerability. The more a chap hides away from his vulnerability, the more he attracts to him anger & frustration in others. This comes in the form of other aggressive & frustrated men. There grows in him a desire to impress angry men. He needs to attracts to him this ugly, aggressive type to feel larger than life, but really he leaves himself wide open for manipulation by this other type of man. This is more than exemplified by the modern phenomenon of `Gangs`, in & around major our international cities.
All Gangs are is a substitute home for other like-minded, disaffected youths who have had little, or no significant father figure in their short lives. This lack, whether physical, or emotional, will mess anyone up, but the damage it does to a young boy, growing up in an environment that is insensitive to his needs is huge. It is this need for encouragement & support that the boy will look anywhere he can for it. By the time it does come, it is too late for him to start relating positively to others, as he has already internalised his self-hatred, & is now projecting it onto everyone else. Unlike the vast majority of `good enough` parents, that have done an average job on there boys, these children`s parents are brooding, anti-social misfits that feed on hate & jealousy. This male youth gave up, some time ago, trying to please his insatiable & ignorant parents. An amalgamation of various troubling aspects in him came together & drove him the to self-harm. This then attracted to him an exaggerated form of narcissistic masculinity, in the form of local hard nuts, & other troubled types, that need to feed off him. This then turn into one big unhappy gang of people, hell bent on inflicting their hatred onto others, women included.
This is an extreme example that I have chosen to reinforce my theory, but I think that it is relevant, & it does show that without significant masculine support a boy will grow up angry, & will not be able to apply any responsibility when it comes to fitting in socially because he has never been shown how to. If all he has ever been witness too is lack, anger, & disrespect, then he will grow up believing that these traits are acceptable in society.
It is vulnerability that has become the biggest problem for men as they try to mature. The continuous need to suppress & cover up is the major distraction that obstructs a persons concentration skills, & the forming of healthy attachments & ideas of future progression. This inability to express themselves adequately, naturally ends up degrading so much of a man`s inner-beauty as he gets older, & will rob a man of his right of initiation into spiritual growth, & it is exactly this that enhances a man`s life & future. For the inner-beauty of a man is his soul, & it is exactly this that is covered up by immaturity & lack of trust. When a man grows adequately he becomes aware of his soul, he can watch it transform, & grow into something phenomenal, & something to be proud of. This takes time, & he has enough nuance to know that it is important to give it space to grow, away from the harshness of society. It can be very difficult for him, but also for those around him. For as his spirituality grows his personality becomes stupefied, sullen, & quiet. The noisy, & the ignorant leave, stay away, or else ridicule him. In some cases others close make themselves understand & accept. The man that can do this level of souls work, is not from a particular background, but he does come from a painful background, it is always pain, or fear sometimes, that lead a man of this calibre to do soul work. Perhaps it`s destiny too ? But it is never a waste of time, although it may feel as though it is, especially the times when the ego kicks up an idea of what masculinity should be doing, & goes on kicking him to get out there into the world, & stop all this inner work. Trying desperately to stop him concentrating on his work. The ego is like a needy child, demanding, noisy & frustrated. These are hard time for this man, he sees people enjoying themselves, having relationships, enjoying careers, but the calling in him niggles away at him, enabling to get back his focus. He has to continue with his inner work, although he try`s hard to keep himself convinced, interested even, that he is doing the right thing for himself. These are hard times for him, as there is no support, or company, just problems with tricksters, including his ego continually getting in his way. Everything is a challenge, a hurdle to get over, & once that is accomplished, a mountain comes, & he has to take a step back, & understand what the mountain means. This can take a long time, as everything is confusing & unreal. Later the problems do begin to get smaller, as the time he takes to achieve a healthy space gets quicker, & his ability to confront his issues stronger.
This is the beauty, & the power, that attracts feminine wisdom to him. It is the love & respect this man has for himself that has now been found, & must not be squandered on the weak & foolish woman. that will soon try & enter his life. It is now imperative that the challenge this woman will present is handled correctly, because it is essential that he he is mindful that he has has been without woman for a long time. It is this sacred space that he has been preparing for the feminine that will eventually be represented by a physical presence that will hold a mystical proportion for him. It is the anima that she will represent when she is ready to enter. But, guess what will try & get in the way of his queens path to him ? Trickster, this is a woman that is thoroughly needy, & dense of spirit, & desperate for our man. In the Tarot Cards, this woman is represented by the Moon, & should be handled with extreme caution. She arrogantly views him as hers. The more vulnerable he is the better, so she can trick & use him for her own selfish purpose. Whilst smiling & dancing around him. Although if he is wise, & careful here, at best, she will have the potential to obstruct his queen/anima entering sooner, & long term she will no be a problem to him. However, this is a period of uncertainty, a confusing time for our man as the feminine enters his life. He does not have the protection of his old defences any more to rely upon. All he has are untried tools to fend off this trickster woman. It must also be remembered that she is a actually a doppelganger, & not a real woman. She is his mother in disguise. Her agenda is all about anger at losing him as a boy, controlling, & getting him back to her, & away from his spiritual progression, or real soul woman, his queen/anima. It is imperative for her, as she represents hurt, & loss that her child has been lost to society. She needs him back for her own selfish agenda. She is a fox, cunning & wily. It can be a challenging time for our hero, but with wisdom, & intuitive assistance from his anima, she will guide him past the trickster. He is also in conjunction with the universe now, so he can also call on this awesome power for his assistance. It is essential at this stage that he truly understands that he is not alone any more, there is power around him & it is at his disposal. A power that he may call upon, & that is supporting him, like a true father.
We can recap here, & remember that our hero, because that is what he has become by this stage, has worked so hard, with blood & sweat, to get in touch with a God, or a Universe, out of despair at his aloneness, so suddenly he becomes supported by this power. The biological father is a falsehood, & at this phenomenal stage of his journey, he is beginning to understand this. He may struggle with the concept of a God, or a Universe, that actually caters, & is there, for him, instead of the old pining for his biological father that has continually failed him, & put him on this path in the first place. He knows that he has power, or soon will do. It is now all about letting go of his outmoded ideas that his biological father is important to him in the grand concept of his life. It will become unimportant soon that he has a biological father, because he is beginning to hand himself over to the Universe & allow it to guide him, & become his carapace.
Other people enter his life now, that want to help, offer a little bit of themselves to assist him as he walks along his path. The trickster remains in the background looming ever closer, in the form of stupidity, anger, & lies, but others quality people come in now, & distract him away from trickster. He does need to worry about bad, or tricky advice, as he knows his masculinity. It is just the feminine he must discern now, nothing else is a problem, all masculine elements of his life are taking care of themselves under their own guise. His ability to look after himself, earn a living, & provide enough security to take care of his needs, are under no doubt now. It is just the feminine, or rather the trickster, posing as a woman, that he must be mindful of now. It is this that is his fast becoming his issue now. He must take some care when dealing with her.
Here, I will leave the story of our intrepid traveller, who walks along the spiritual highway, sometimes alone, other times not, but always with integrity. Although he has not always felt this way. At times he has felt disgusted & ashamed at having put himself through so much pain, fear, & harm, at the expense of a perceived guilt that he has missed out on things such as careers, & relationships, but as we can see the paradox here is that had any of these happened before now our hero would not be our hero, he would be dead. They would of suffocated him.
Naturally when a man lacks the ability to maintain a healthy relationship with a women he has become stuck at the age of a particular emotional issue, & it`s origin. This was the beginning of it all. This was the first upset our hero encountered at the hands of his father. It was at this stage that rage formed in him, & it was also at this stage he learnt to shut up, & suppress himself, the rest is his personal history that we will look at from time to time.
This first cut in the emotional bond is the fissure that C.G. Jung called the `Kingfisher Wound`. It is the foundations of all the child`s trouble as he grows up. This rage grows, & has to stay hidden at all costs, until his soul can take no more, & it explodes. Or in some cases, such as when someone finds dogmatic religion, or other forms of denial, issues will stay hidden for years, rising up like some mysterious entity, in the form of nightmares, & demons, frightening the person. This is the trickster posing as religion, the shadow trying to communicate, & to get out of his hellish prison cell. Sadly though, he is continuously suppressed, & locked up. He is never allowed to be free, or express himself. When the denial is at it`s worse it is passive, & this is the nastiest type of anger, because it is so manipulative,
& behaves so cruelly.
So perhaps now you can see how my theory of the immature man, & how he must stay in control by dominating others ? Unless this man can come to terms with himself, he will forever remain a child, & will never be able to form a healthy attachment with anyone. His narcissism, as he get older will affect every aspect of his life, such as his choice of women, which will become younger, as he gets older. He will make demands on those around him that are ridiculous, & even reckless. Work patterns, & the ability to make a continuous wage, will be affected, as will his ability to restrain himself when it comes to instant gratification. Bossing others around for no reason will drive others away, & isolate him to the point where as an older man he will die of regret-related illnesses. This is a terrible indictment of the controlling man, but sadly, a true one, & it is played out everywhere, all over the world. Immaturity is completely unprejudiced, & adores the fool who stays in denial, as it gets to stay the dominant force in his life.
I shall conclude the essay today with a lovely example of stupidity, & how it`s utter selfishness can cause serious problems for many people around him. Immaturity is irresponsibility, & recklessness, in it`s rawest & most primal form.
Yesterday, I went over to my temple to meditate, and whilst I was there I volunteered to help out. There were a lot of people wanting to join in festivities. So after a few hours of standing around in the sun, chatting to people, & generally having a pleasant time helping out, the team leader of volunteers approached me, & begun barking orders at me. I had just carried a severely crippled man, out of his wheelchair, & up the stairs. His daughter wanted to wait until he had finished praying, then we arranged that she would call me to collect him, & carry him back down the stairs again. This fool, who could not comprehend that I had a responsibility to carry this chap, as there was nobody else there that could do it, actually tried to take me away & do something else with my skill-base. I was staggered by his ignorance, no to mention the rest of the temple who had employed him. All they have done is reinforce my mistrust of them.
When a chance came to controlling me he could not help himself, even when presented with a challenging situation as the one I was in. I ignored him, & collected the gentleman & brought him back down again. Then I went home, vowing never to put myself in that position again, or go to the damn place again. Can you see how a lack of maturity, even when it comes from a person who you could be forgiven for thinking is mature, being versed in his religion. This is a case of immaturity & stupidity.
Religion is a completely separate issue when it come to maturity, & spirituality. Religion is a great way for an immature man to hide away from masculine responsibility. For the immature man does not like responsibility & will do all he can from becoming acquainted with it, just the same way the boy in the gang, we discussed earlier, does not like the responsibility of looking at himself with honesty & dignity. How can he when he was never shown how to be responsible ? It takes responsibility to maintain healthy relations with others. If a person becomes flustered & upset in the face of pressure, like going to work, managing others, & looking after themselves, how will he ever grow up ? He wont, he will become a burden to others, & make ridiculous decisions, but really all he will do is just keep mature, beneficial people away from him. Who the hell wants to be associated with a child parading as a man ?
As ever, Its an honour to have YOU reading my essays.
Thank you, sincerely.
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