Bullying In The Workplace

 ~Oscar Wilde once said; " Its easy to condemn, but worthwhile to discern"          ~                                                                                                                                     

 At times the world of work & responsibility can seem a very challenging & lonely place for us all.  And, for a long time it was for me too.                                                      

 As a very young apprentice Scenic Painter I found myself, many times, caught up in work-related situations that would more often than not often overwhelm me. For, the challenges of dealing with seasoned & much more experienced people than I would intimidate & frighten me. When this happened I would often find myself hiding away behind bravado & bluff. It was easier for me to hide away my frustrations & pain inside & pretend I was happy. But, then later wondering why those same people would see me as a liability. Big problems for a young person that were crippling & in dire need of an answer to which I could not find one back then.                                                                                             

 Some time ago I was discussing personal growth with a colleague & whilst sharing ideas I found myself reflecting on the old Buddhist adage that; `What one puts outs out, then so one will receive`. Inspired, I began to understand that everything that I had once perceived to be negative was simply created by my own fear & lack of self-awareness. Not only at work, but within my life as a whole.  Suddenly, everything began falling into place & I felt that I could see where I had, not so much, gone wrong, but have grown.                                                                                                                            

 Today, through my own growth & maturity as an individual I have come to realize the importance of establishing solid coping mechanisms that really work & therefore ensure healthy boundaries that can only establish good future relations with others.                                                                                                                                        

 As a young guy starting out at work I felt bullied & harassed, but this was not so. I simply did not understand that which comes later when one finds the courage to widening ones outlook on life. Respect can only ever come from being honest with oneself.  This behaviour, naturally, ascends one onto the opening up of those same paths which enable good working relations to be built with others.                                                                                                                                  

 For me, this has seen the biggest growth in building the confidence to cope effectively with newer challenges that will present themselves wherever you are.                                                                                                            

 If you can, try not to see those others as bullies, even when, in your eyes, they are, for I have come to understand these people are simply those that have entered our lives to show how to succeed in our art...whatever that may be. 

THE MASCULINE SIDE OF THINGS

The Masculine Side:

The masculine side deals with the strength of the self. It is what causes you to act either timidly or self-confidently. The thing that is most important in determining the strength of the masculine side, is the value that you, at a deep level, place on yourself. This is a value you know within yourself that you have really and truly earned. It could be thought of as a sort of self esteem. Placing a high value on yourself affects your whole being and helps you feel strong and confident in operating your life. And when can operate your life with confidence, you get more out of life.  Things can really turn around for you, and this automatically makes you place a higher value on yourself. You can build the masculine side through progress and small wins, through positive reinforcement, by practicing, and by generally taking an active part in operating your life.

If you have a strong masculine side, you are in charge of your own life because you are internally controlled. You tend to look people in the eye. You stand straight, and you usually command attention when you walk into a room, whether you say anything or not. This happens because of the strength within. If you have a weak masculine side, you also have a lot of doubts. You doubt yourself, your abilities, your capability to do things. Things intimidate you and you don't move forward well. You are afraid to put yourself out there because you know you are going to fail, so you don't even try to accomplish things. If you have a weak masculine side, you often feel the need to show off your attributes and accomplishments, whereas if you have a strong masculine side you are self-confident, and don't feel it is necessary to show off.

The masculine side is full of things that you have to be strong and self-confident in order to do. These include being able to claim your basic rights, such as the right to feel free to operate independently of others, and the right to belong or fit into society in any way you please. Claiming your rights also includes being able to stand up to people who try to take away your rights, either by force or intimidation, or by manipulation, or by trying to hinder you in choosing your own direction in life. The masculine side also includes the ability to be decisive, to take risks when appropriate, and to focus intently and concentrate in order to get things done. In addition, a strong masculine side builds common sense, which helps you figure out how to accomplish things and get more of what you want out of life. This includes figuring out how to operate your life in a responsible manner, how to reason without distorting reality and without fooling yourself, and how to accurately weigh probabilities so that you know the most likely outcome to expect in situations you come across.