GOOD FRIENDS ~ UNCONDITIONAL LOVE & SUPPORT ~

 Great to hear back from you. . 

 Of course, I understand your not one for long letters. So, perhaps I can share with you one of the main reasons that I have written to you this evening. 

 Sadly, without realizing it, I had gotten used to being in a poor mental & financial state. Looking back I can see that I had established deep underlying issues, due to the loss of Nathan . Brian`s dismissive & incredibly neglectful attitude towards me back then led me to find comfort in the very simple things in life & financial security was not one of them. Simply put, I needed & craved for emotional support from him that was in no way reciprocated. In fact, when we did talk Brian would take great pleasure in letting me know how well he was doing & how great all the various countries were that he visited !  He simply became totally unavailable to me. 

 When the door security became too much to contend with & the Arabs stopped coming I began living humbly by buying & selling vinyl records online. It did not pay that much, but I lived within my means & it was this that humbled me. Mum continued to love & support me &, in short, guided me back, I think, unwittingly, to a full life again. 

 Naturally, things got bad at times & sometimes life would provide for me wonderful moments, like sitting by the river in Wandsworth Park on warm evenings or playing the drums in front of an appreciative audience. Then last year, through a friend in security, an opportunity to return to the Industry presented itself, completely by chance. 

 My friend asked me if I would be interested in helping him out with film security on a picture called, Legend, for Working Title Films. I was nervous & had never once considered returning to the industry. It was, to all intents & purposes, a part of my life that I no longer had any connection with. It was alien to me or so I thought. I said I would & went into work. But, after being there an hour I establisheof my life that I no longer had any connection with. It was alien to me or so I thought. I said I would & went into work. But, after being there an hour I established who the CM was, dropped a few names & within a day or so started work with him as a Painter. I ended up doing part of the Stand -By !! 

 Then, whilst I was there, Paul W got in touch & offered me a job on his, then, new picture for Disney Productions, at Pinewood Studios. Naturally, I took it & have been with him now for six months. He put me on a contract with his first batch of painters & I hit the ground running.

  It was nerve racking for me returning to the studios &, at times, I really felt like running away. I was scared, vulnerable &, at the same time, really wanted to prove to myself that I could do it again. There was a bumpy start for me. Frustratingly, a painter named, Jay began harassing me. And, I did not know what to do, so I spoke with Joe, my Supervisor, who was able to move me to another stage. I remembered this persons Father, but never knew him that well. It was not the start that I wanted, but I kept my head down & got on with it. 

 It has been an extraordinary period, these last couple of years & I am pleased to report that, by & large, everyone has been very nice & supportive towards me. Now things are good. Many people have got in touch with me & offered me various job. They like to talk of the old me by telling me how mature & grown up I have become. Keith & Tony have become very supportive & I know that I owe them much for their kindness towards me. 

 There is no place for my Father in my life anymore & recently we talked on the phone, just by chance, due to a friend who took it upon himself to phone him & explain that we were working together. It was such a disappointing experience for me. I compared his dialogue with all I had been through & knew I had been through & knew that I was saying goodbye, for good. 

 Life works for me now & I am so happy to be back working again. Mum is happy that its happened for me too. Together we got through our bereavement. 

 My choice of words in describing the mantel that I place you on are genuine & meant. For, you showed me how to live & how to get by. 

 Today, I can see that back then I did not need the lessons you unselfishly gave to me, because I thought that I knew best. Now I can see that what you showed me was not for then, but, later when real living would kick in. When I would feel that I couldn`t cope. 

 You knew, that one day I would need, more than anything else, those lessons of real life that you had experienced & that, due to my good fortune, you chose to share with me. And, you were right, my friend, they worked & it saved my sanity, my dignity, my life. 

 I promised myself that when I got better, well again, that I would write to you & express my gratitude for all you gave to me by way of unconditional respect & dignity when I was just a boy. 

 Soon we will meet & laugh

Peter Green, Fleetwood Mac & Strange Problems ~1970

• A letter to a friend concerning Peter Green`s Fleetwood Mac,

  
  
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•  Thanks for bringing me in on this. Sadly, I think that you may well be in for disappointment if what your seeking is more of what Peter Green gave us with The Green Manalishi & to a lesser part, Oh Well. For sure, Green is; was, a genius, but unfortunately he was really not aware or interested in this gift & allowed mind expanding drugs to rob him of the rationale part of his senses. Meaning, that one of the main reasons for Green leaving &, in reality, ending the incarnation of what was Peter Green`s Fleetwood Mac was because the Manalishi & Oh Well were incredibly commercial successes. Albertross, Man Of The World, Need Your Love So Bad, the Little Willie John cover, were also great offerings, but not in the vein of Manalishi. Green was finding it increasingly disturbing & upsetting that Blue Horizon were releasing these, in my eyes,very fine singles. I think what is important to remember about Green was that, like Clapton, he believed in going backwards & down into the Blues, unlike much lesser UK musicians of the time & this affected his output. His heroes were the electric Bluesmen of the 1950`s; Elmore James & Muddy Waters, et al, but Green never felt as though he could give real justice to their music & so gave up trying. Just to give you some idea how revered Green was as a player, he was invited by Chess Records to record with Otis Rush ! Not the other way around. To conclude, Green was at his absolute pinnacle when he recorded The Green Manalishi & Oh Well, Pt`s 1 & 2, & it was this pinnacle that he saw as his que to leave & bail out, returning to his Father`s house in Richmond where he ended up staying for the next forty years, leaving leadership duties to Danny Kirwin & Jeremy Spencer, who, incidentally, both also left over, what can be seen today, as mental health problems. It may also be worth mentioning here that Green did actually record two extremely good solo albums in the early & mid 70`s, End Of The Game & In The Skies. But, could never be coaxed into returning to his former career in the Mac. I`m not sure, what Peter Green would say to you today if you asked him about The Green Manalishi, but in 1969 he would have probably warned you to be careful of it & not to mess around with the Devil. Manalishi was Green`s parting song to the world which is why there is nothing that stands next to it. Below, is a clip of one of the last live recordings of Green`s Mac. I`m aware that their Blues recordings are not your bag, but if you listen carefully you`ll hear glimpses of the magic your seeking. Watch out for that Manalishi though !!! 
  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  Peter Green's Fleetwood Mac ~ Live At Warehouse New...

  YOUTUBE.COM
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•  What seems to be an important crossover album in The Mac`s career is The Kiln House album. This was the next thing they created after Green`s departure. Even though its not a massively strong album there are still a couple of interesting tracks on it that may assist you in finding some of the magic. Like a kind of window into what could have been had Green stayed on. This album also saw the emergence of Christine McVie onto their scene.
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JEFF PORCARO, DRUMS & GROOVE ~A RECOLLECTION

• A groove is being in-tune with your real self & then having the ability to transfer it clearly through your instrument. However well a person does this is simply down to how well-connected they are with themselves. How genuine a person is will determine just how good a musician they really are. 

  
  
•  The first time I ever met & sat with Jeff Porcaro my instincts told me that I really liked this person. I didn`t know who he was at the time, but I looked forward to seeing him again. Later, as I grew up, this really cool, kind, person turned out to be one of the greatest Drummers the world has ever seen. He taught me to play ! 
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•  In my eyes, that is having groove, but that`s just my humble opinion !! 

Wolf-man - A Poem For The Moon Goddess

~ Oh, cometh ye Wolf-man, 

For it is ye that bringeth the tides of the sea & the whispers of the moon, 

Oh, Wolf-man, hear our cries at this time, the hour of the great Goddess,

Oh, waxing & waning moon speed along our heartfelt prayers with haste that only he, the Wolf of midnight, can hear,

Wind of the South, carry upon your silver edge the pity of every man, woman & child,

I call upon ye, the wolf of midnight, to appear. Within all of us, is you are. Listen, hark my call, oh Wolf-man, 

Then, should you find our humble offering worthy, allow us to bow at your feet. All this, in honour of a transformation which you represent within every soul, 

Oh cometh, ye wolfman, hear our calls this night, - the night of the great Goddess ~

Matt Higgins

The Wise Man & The Fool ~A Poem

We are all connected as souls, but on different levels. 

A fool will never be able to connect to a focused person. This is just & should never be questioned. 

But, the fool can learn to get grow & mature, see deeper, away from the rational, the surface, but the wise person will not hang about to see that transformation materialize. 

For, time is all the wise person has.

Tomorrow Never Dies ~007 ~The Stunt Scenes ~A Personal Recollection

                                                                                                                                                                  Well, to be honest, there isn`t a great deal that I can tell you about the making of the movie, other than that I worked on the film as part of the Paint crew & that it was a great picture to have been a part of. I was also very fortunate to have been employed by such experienced & professional people. As a young painter I learnt much from my colleagues on the film & I also enjoyed working in a new studio where this part of the picture was being made & shot away from Pinewood.
                                                                                                                                                                     For the sake of your FB page, I can share with you my recollection of the famous motorbike stunt scene where the stunt man drives across a  street. I can also assure you that it was incredible to watch.

 I remember the stunt man spending ages setting himself & his motorbike up for the shot. The scene was being shot from high up on top of the street sets with additional cameras set -up down below to capture every possible angle. A special ramp had also been rigged up for the shot so that the stunt man could enable himself to jump across the street at great speed.  He prepared himself for this shot by repeatedly driving up & down the nearest part of the ramp for a good couple of hours.

 When he was ready to roll we were all told to stand -by & be quiet as it could only be shot once. I was watching from below, nervously, as I`d never seen or experienced anything like this before.

 Suddenly, after much ado, the stunt man gave the thumbs up & the first AD shouted; " stand-by ", & that incredible BMW motorbike fired up. The roar was deafening, you knew it was going to be happening for real.                                                                      

 " Action ! ", the dude shot off along that ramp with speeds that I didn`t think existed & within seconds he & his bike were flying through the air poised upright, with the grace of a bird. As I looked up at this spectacle I remember wondering if he had slowed himself down in some way. The engine one could no longer hear, an eerie silence had fallen upon us for the duration of the crossing. Then, suddenly, as if time had started again, there was a loud bang & the stunt man was suddenly touched down safely on the other side of the set.

Let me tell you, if I felt great relief knowing he`d made a safe landing then I can only imagine what he must have been thinking as he roared down that opposite side of the ramp. Either way, everyone cheered with great affection at being a part of his incredible stunt.

Funny,  I remember saying to myself, as I watched the cheering, adoring, crowds running over to the man as he rode back onto the set, " I wish I was stunt man ! "

SELF -RESPECT ~ ESSENTIAL FOR A HEALTHY LIFE

Self-respect is every persons right. Its free & it makes us feel good about ourselves. Yet, most people choose not to have it in their lives. Some would rather function well away from self-respect & live in some false, synthetic, world where reality & harshness do not exist. This type long to stay away from those that breath the air of dignity & self-respect. Sometimes its hard to admit that were not where we want to be, or that we made mistakes in the past that are still affect the present, but being honest about who you are is the only real way to rectify that inner demon & let others know who we really are. Introducing dignity into our lives is a process. It can be as easy or as difficult as we choose. This is because dignity is borne from pain, loss & sadness. But its work that essential if we are to lead a full & healthy life away from the negative, controlling aspect of those that have little or no self-respect. The immature. For, the person who has self-respect is an honest person & honest people do not arouse suspicion in others, nor do they get lost around another`s honesty & those same people crave to be near other honest people. If making decisions in your life does not enable you to feel good about yourself then honesty from the inside out is going to be the only route to a better life. Today, when I look at those people that enter my life, the path I am on & those I call my friends, I know that I have found my own self-respect. I know this because I like those people. They make me feel good & so my decision to have them as friends is the right one. Its taken a while & lots of frustration, but I am humbled by the journey I have been on to arrive at where I am now. Its a powerful thing to know that I am alone & must ultimately rely upon myself to get to where I want to be. But its also essential if I am to be an asset in life, not only to myself, but others too. Self- respect is about being real & honest with ourselves. This is something that resides in me. And, when I look at you, I know that it resides there too.

Matthew St J

BRAIN EVOLUTION SYSTEM ~ A PERSONAL ACCOUNT

 When I started using the Barin Evolution System I was dealing with bereavement & a profound transformation of consciousness, due to losing my young Brother. It affected me so incredibly & unconsciously too. 

 When I began using the Brain Ev I had already began using other forms of self improvement techniques such as meditation & had always been into good nutrition as I was sporty, so I had some understanding of determination to want to achieve things. What the depression, if you like, became was a massive obstacle that, on the one hand,frightened me, & on the other, pushed me to get through it positively. When The Brain Ev system entered my life & began giving me results I was able to immediately see it as a representation that I had entered a new level of understanding & growth within me. 

 Since using it I have matured & developed beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Yes, it is very subtle, but I think growth is, & at 38 years old I look & feel as I did when I was in my early 30`s. This inspires & helps me believe that the more I grow within the less baggage I will need to carry, lightening me more & more as I go along.  

 Each day I learn new things about myself this leads to more improvement & most importantly I am now able to see & embrace my autonomy. I see my parents for who they are individually & this enables me to direct the course of my life without their imposition getting in my way as it did when I was younger. This is maturity, I guess ? I see another as, not an extension of me any longer, but as an individual that can either improve, compliment or wreck my life. The important thing is that I now know & this afford me comfort & confidence. This understanding enables me to make decisions that are worthwhile & respectful towards myself. 

 After a long &, at times, formidable transformation within myself, since losing my beloved Brother, the Brain Ev system has helped me to speed up the process of discovery & has enabled me to reach the other end of what some call; ` The dark night of the soul`, the Alchemical-Nigredo, or depression, the words are unimportant, & begin living in the material world again.  Something that now, today, I am very excited about. 

 Naturally, I will, soon, once I am satisfied that I can let go of the existing system, begin level seven. It would be a natural transition not only as an adherent of Brain Ev, but as an individual who has found the fundamentals of good & healthy living standards. And, this is it, this is the crux of everything; the Brain Ev System has enabled me to discover that I have very high standards within myself that have clearly laid buried for many years & are now at the forefront of everything I do. And, for me, this is what the Brain Ev System is fundamentally about; enabling a person to be the best they can be. 

 Carl Jung said that mans only real aim whilst on the planet is to find out ones destiny & that this can only be done by way of the process of individuation.  This is what I have achieved. 

 Matthew St John Higgins -  https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1706194629 

Bullying In The Workplace

 ~Oscar Wilde once said; " Its easy to condemn, but worthwhile to discern"          ~                                                                                                                                     

 At times the world of work & responsibility can seem a very challenging & lonely place for us all.  And, for a long time it was for me too.                                                      

 As a very young apprentice Scenic Painter I found myself, many times, caught up in work-related situations that would more often than not often overwhelm me. For, the challenges of dealing with seasoned & much more experienced people than I would intimidate & frighten me. When this happened I would often find myself hiding away behind bravado & bluff. It was easier for me to hide away my frustrations & pain inside & pretend I was happy. But, then later wondering why those same people would see me as a liability. Big problems for a young person that were crippling & in dire need of an answer to which I could not find one back then.                                                                                             

 Some time ago I was discussing personal growth with a colleague & whilst sharing ideas I found myself reflecting on the old Buddhist adage that; `What one puts outs out, then so one will receive`. Inspired, I began to understand that everything that I had once perceived to be negative was simply created by my own fear & lack of self-awareness. Not only at work, but within my life as a whole.  Suddenly, everything began falling into place & I felt that I could see where I had, not so much, gone wrong, but have grown.                                                                                                                            

 Today, through my own growth & maturity as an individual I have come to realize the importance of establishing solid coping mechanisms that really work & therefore ensure healthy boundaries that can only establish good future relations with others.                                                                                                                                        

 As a young guy starting out at work I felt bullied & harassed, but this was not so. I simply did not understand that which comes later when one finds the courage to widening ones outlook on life. Respect can only ever come from being honest with oneself.  This behaviour, naturally, ascends one onto the opening up of those same paths which enable good working relations to be built with others.                                                                                                                                  

 For me, this has seen the biggest growth in building the confidence to cope effectively with newer challenges that will present themselves wherever you are.                                                                                                            

 If you can, try not to see those others as bullies, even when, in your eyes, they are, for I have come to understand these people are simply those that have entered our lives to show how to succeed in our art...whatever that may be. 

THE MASCULINE SIDE OF THINGS

The Masculine Side:

The masculine side deals with the strength of the self. It is what causes you to act either timidly or self-confidently. The thing that is most important in determining the strength of the masculine side, is the value that you, at a deep level, place on yourself. This is a value you know within yourself that you have really and truly earned. It could be thought of as a sort of self esteem. Placing a high value on yourself affects your whole being and helps you feel strong and confident in operating your life. And when can operate your life with confidence, you get more out of life.  Things can really turn around for you, and this automatically makes you place a higher value on yourself. You can build the masculine side through progress and small wins, through positive reinforcement, by practicing, and by generally taking an active part in operating your life.

If you have a strong masculine side, you are in charge of your own life because you are internally controlled. You tend to look people in the eye. You stand straight, and you usually command attention when you walk into a room, whether you say anything or not. This happens because of the strength within. If you have a weak masculine side, you also have a lot of doubts. You doubt yourself, your abilities, your capability to do things. Things intimidate you and you don't move forward well. You are afraid to put yourself out there because you know you are going to fail, so you don't even try to accomplish things. If you have a weak masculine side, you often feel the need to show off your attributes and accomplishments, whereas if you have a strong masculine side you are self-confident, and don't feel it is necessary to show off.

The masculine side is full of things that you have to be strong and self-confident in order to do. These include being able to claim your basic rights, such as the right to feel free to operate independently of others, and the right to belong or fit into society in any way you please. Claiming your rights also includes being able to stand up to people who try to take away your rights, either by force or intimidation, or by manipulation, or by trying to hinder you in choosing your own direction in life. The masculine side also includes the ability to be decisive, to take risks when appropriate, and to focus intently and concentrate in order to get things done. In addition, a strong masculine side builds common sense, which helps you figure out how to accomplish things and get more of what you want out of life. This includes figuring out how to operate your life in a responsible manner, how to reason without distorting reality and without fooling yourself, and how to accurately weigh probabilities so that you know the most likely outcome to expect in situations you come across.

GEORGE HARRISON ~A PERSONAL RECOLLECTION ~

 It hadn`t been long since I had completed my Scenic Painters apprenticeship when I was ordered to serve a bit of time at Westway Studios in West London, by my Dad.

This particular day on-set was a going to be tad different from the usual as George Harrison was booked in on the main stage, along with Jools Holland, Ray Cooper & an array of other top musicians.

Being a young drummer I was excited & fired up about meeting these guys. So that morning in the cafe over breakfast I compiled a mental list of  questions on music that, given half a chance, I would ask George his advice on.

 As I walked back to the studio I headed for the main stage, chest out, shoulders back & ready to go in my spotless white painters overalls. Nothing would stop me & it felt great to be alive.                   Then all of a sudden someone from behind shattered this state of reverie in me; " Hey, you, excuse me, can you find out who`s blocked my car in the car park ? I want to move, but can`t ".                     Wondering who was shouting at me, I spun round, ready to set the line with this person & realized it was George Harrison who was now peering at me, waiting for an answer. Oh no, I thought, what am I going to do now ? Talk about thrown in at the deep end " Er, yes, of course, Mr Harrison, leave it with me, I`ll sort it out. "                                                                                                                                              
 After a bit of running about asking others I looked out into the car park & saw George standing there, arms crossed, annoyed, waiting for this guy to move his car. Then I took a double take & saw that the guy who had parked so abysmally across George`s Rolls was my Dad !                                     George had beaten me to it. He`d collared my Dad & was not happy with him.

 Needless to say, that was the end of my legendary morning where I`d be hanging out with the legends & waffling on till wrap time. I kept my head down the rest of the day & said nothing !                                                      

In the end George, & everyone else, were great fun, warm & very funny. It was a pleasure to have been there.                                                  

~Thanks for the memories ~

~ https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1706194629 ~