Last night at work I became sadly aware that my recent, temporary, job had come to an end, & should I choose to ignore the signs, trouble would be in store for me.
My colleague physically assaulted a youngster, well below the age of consent. It shocked me, as I had given him a lot of credit as someone that I respected, & believed was a decent man. Perhaps he still is, but in my eyes today, he is nothing but an angry, somewhat selfish person who does not consider the implications that his actions may have upon others. I told him, after seeing that the child was well, that he was in the wrong, & that his actions were shameful. I was shocked to see him do this that & I did not want to work alongside him for the rest of the evening. It is funny because before work I sensed very strongly his daughter, wondering what I could give her as a small gift, as I had met her only a week before & found her very sweet. Now he was pushing a child her age. My premonition frightened me.
It was not long after coming to terms with this when a member of staff approached me expressing her sentiments about the colleagues behaviour. She said in her quiet feminine way, that he was very aggressive. I tried to extract from her exactly what she meant by this, but it did not take much working out to see what she meant, that men in security from East Europe are used to beating people of all ages up, never discussing or placating. It chilled me. I thanked her for her input
Not long after this the manager of the establishment asked me to assist my colleague by going down to a bar to help the landlord, who had become overwhelmed by rowdiness. I felt angry to of been put upon by this fool who had no sense of boundaries or personal responsibility. In fact, he seemed determined to undermine every positive thing, or quality piece of work that is done there, by dismantling it behind ones back. Like a kind of odd death instinct. When I arrived at the place, with my colleague, I was overwhelmed to see the place full of Chelsea football supporters screaming as it was the champions league final. I immediately spoke with them, told my colleague that we can now go, & I left as quickly as I arrived. He chose to stay, his reasoning for this decision, I will never understand to this day. He finally returned to us, myself & the remaining operative, who had been left completely alone on such a hellish, menacing evening, 45 minutes later, leaving us alone & completely vulnerable. In fact, in some small way, this was proven as we saw the original children that he had assaulted, run up the high street clutching some hapless woman`s small handbag, whooping with delight as they ran. I told the manager that he was wrong to of undermined, not only our safety, but also that of his remaining staff & the security of the customers. All I felt from him was that due to his managerial position, he could do as he damn well pleased. I also told him that he was immature & ridiculous to of taken such a decision & that he was indeed undermining all we had all worked so hard for.
On my colleagues return I expressed in no uncertain terms, but still trying to remain together, that he was again wrong & that he seriously needed to re-evaluate his position in security. It was`nt until later that I realised that it was me that needed to re-evaluate my position in security. He suddenly was no longer important to me. As I started mentally stockpiling all the recent incidents that had recently been laid at my door, & not by the customers, but actual members of staff, I could see that if I did not take this as my queue to leave then I was seriously putting myself into an untenable position as far as my well-being went. The staffs lack of life experience & recklessness was suddenly causing me a problem. I had to prepare fast my departure from this madness, as I was going to get hurt by a decision that they someone would make sooner or later.
At the end of the evening I could not even speak with the manager of the other bar. He had the tenacity to come to my place of employment for a drink after he had closed his bar, & that the police had been called, still never tugged at his sense of shame. He approached me to thank me, knowing that I neither respected nor liked him, seeing him as a cheap, exploiter of others. I had told him on the walk down there, that by not employing good, or even enough security, & then relying on the stupidity of people like my colleague to clean up his cost-cutting, he was disgusting & a menace. I shook his hand as I been brought up to do had taught me , but when he asked me for my name, I put my foot well & truly down, I told him, without eye contact, that I did not have one, & that I had no interest in him whatsoever. He just left. Not long after filing in my time sheet I too went home.
How do I feel today ? Relief that my position is over, although I have not told anyone yet as I really wanted t to be sure that what I am feeling today is genuine & that I am making the correct decision. It comes down to being confidence that I am making the correct decisions for my immediate future. I`m also somewhat concerned as there will no longer be a regular wage for a while, but I am financially secure for the next couple of weeks. More importantly though this position has been the one thing that has enabled me to re-enter the world again & for that I am grateful. After what I had been through with a previous career setback, my confidence was quite literally shattered. I had only recently begun getting my confidence back in the workplace when I started here. The decision I have made today & come away from this situation is resonating more all the time. I am mindful of the damage it is beginning to cause me & this has to be taken notice of just by itself if nothing in itself
When something is over it is over & it should be left that way. The universe, I believe will take care of the rest.
No comments:
Post a Comment