Thank you for accepting me into your group. When I first came across it I wasn`t sure what it was really about, but I knew that I wanted to drop by & say hello.
After reading one or two of the posts I began to gauge an understanding that the group is about love &, perhaps, a place where one can come to & try to understand what a twin flame is. Maybe a twin flame is a Soulmate ? I`m not sure, but its nice thinking about who a Soulmate could be. Lots of people talk about love & meeting `that`person. Sometimes they talk about them so much they drive themselves mad. That other person become elusive, even untouchable. Perhaps this isn`t love, but dependence ? Perhaps `that` person never existed anyway ?
Some years ago I lost my Brother. He was knocked down by a hit & run driver & he died. This changed my life profoundly & I learnt much about myself during this process of bereavement. Music became a close friend, as did literature & art. Many times, during the long search for light, I longed for someone to come & hold me, I dreamed about this happening, about them. I played my drums in the hope they would hear me then appear. I meditated on them, but nobody came.
And, all these years later, twelve to be exact, somebody has yet to arrive in my life. However during all this upheaval I have learnt one simple, yet, incredibly important thing; I know that my aloneness is with me because I have been growing & maturing all this time, whilst trying to understand & come to terms with my loss. And in my mind, I have now come to know what is best for me. So, whilst I am constantly growing & changing there has been no room for another during this bonanza of change & transformation. I have not wanted another to be a part of this, at times, terrifying, process of recovery.
Perhaps, the reason that I have been accepted here, into your group, & am now able to honestly share my inner feelings & thoughts with you, is because I have grown ? Maybe now it is time for me to feel the sun on my face again ? Maybe now is the the time for friends to come back, to return to me & laugh again ? Perhaps now my heart has opened up again & being brave is important ? Who knows, but I certainly feel good about things now & I am grateful that you took the time to read this
Peace, Joy & Good Health In Life,
Matt Higgins
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